This week

this week i have been pretty sick , all the sleeples nights have taken a toll on me i guess and i ended up in bed for two days. Today i am feeling some what better. Physicaly , even if on the emotinal side i am still messed up, he has been calling and messageing me , and on tuesday i asked him what the point was did he want us to get back together, he said no he has no room for that in his life, SO WHY FUCKING KEEP TRYING TO CONTROLL ME , why here is the answer because he is still getting what he wants from me and all i have is hope that he will come back , but not any more, i will always love this man in some way , i will never forget him, but i need to move on with my life, with some one whos sees my submissivenes as a gift , some one who will grow with me in mutal trust respect, and push me to be better