Monday, March 12, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
I must not I must not , i must stay away
as a step in my face book recovery, i will be heading out of town this weekend to visit misty in St John, and what a weekend it will be! its going to be WARM!!! Thank Goodness i am sick of sleeping in a bed with 15 blankets on it its like i am crawling in to a small hole , once i am in there i cant move just shimmy in and stay there if i want to tbe warm. Ill be back on Satruday , going to a party for work, and working on sunday. speaking of work i need to get back to it
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Jr High Romance , dont blink it might be missed
i yawn and pull my self out of bed, shower hair makeup contacts in. It is Wednesday and i would rather do anything then go to work , A i would make the first choice to stay in bed where i am warm and wont have to wonder about getting frostbit if i look out side , or two not have to leave the house at all and stay curled on the coach watching Dawsons creek , either work for me , but i get to work, seems i am gonna do a lot of over time next week which i dont mind at all , works for me , but i still dont want to be here today, i check my email i talk to the people who left me messages on face book over night , HOLY MOLY i think i have become addictied to seeing if i can find other people i know if 4 days i have 197 people mostly from the NB area more then cape breton ( cape breton is still in to High 5) . I get a message its from Robin, i havnt spoke ro Robin in a good 10 years we played Volleyball together in 5& 6th grade but remained friends till 8th grade when i broke up with the guy i was dateing that lived in the same town as her , Melissa who is her best friend and i were also ver close all three of us did the normal kid clatter, my cousin Wen actuly dated mellissas brother who was best friends with my boyfried at the time. When i thought about that i just shook my head even re reading it now it gets confusing , needless to say when i wasnt traveling down there all the time we lost touch , i was happy to know she isnt far away and doing great as is melissa. So although i dreaded spending the day at work i got to spend it catching up with a dear friend
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Hit 100
today i hit 100 visits, so its obvious i am not the only one coming here any more, please feel free to leave your name in the commecnts or sign the guest mapp thanks
c4a
c4a
late night phone calls
As i lay me down to sleep i pray the .... i just pray to get to sleep!,
for the last 4 nights i have had problems sleeping just sit there and toss and turn if i can even slow down long enough to go to bed. issue causing this ? stress and a wondeful first cavity! who gets a first cavity at the age of 25 ? ME , and i love my dentist honestly she is a doll , she went to school with my cousing so i feel comfortable with her but she has went away on vacation leaving me for a week with nothing to do but pray for it to stop hurting and go threw 2 tubes of orgel a day. So it was great when by 10 45 last night i had fallen asleep. And then what happens, The x calls, i fumbled for the phone and said hello, i was some what ticked when i heard the voice on the other end and he started with i am sorry did i wake you , well of course when in the 4 years have you knowen me do i stay awake past 10 30 wheni have to be up at 6 am. Another applogies and you say youll let me go , that you were just calling to say hi , hi is a code work and the time of day your calling you either A need money or B are worried about something, i have made it clear there will be no money given to you again , that you need to learn to do things on your own , and if your calling me for support its either something with work or your mother. Neither of which are my concerns any more. I tell my self this because being sucked in to Your life is like entering the black hole of depression , where no one smiles no one laughs all they do is cry. You dont have to tell me whats wrong i know by the tone if your voice, i look at the clock its almost 11 , i tell you Hey Your interview will go fine, just take a breath and get back to studing for your exit exams, what have i just done? underminded all the work i have been doing for my self , because when no one is there, for you i stepped up to the plate , so that you could be re asured, i just shake my head as i crawl back in bed, i can beat my self up over doing something for you or i can just say smile and keep moving on , not letting you affect how i feel. i choose the later, i just chalk it out to helping any of my other friends, no matter what happend between us i do which you happiness, but i need for you to understand that the further dosnt hold me and you together any more, that i am happy building alife of my own , and that there is some one i am intrested in , maybe there i snothing there with him , maybe he will only end up being a friend, as well, but i cant keep being the person you turn to its not fair to my self, or to any one i want to presue a relationship, i have learned to move towards another path , you need to do the same
for the last 4 nights i have had problems sleeping just sit there and toss and turn if i can even slow down long enough to go to bed. issue causing this ? stress and a wondeful first cavity! who gets a first cavity at the age of 25 ? ME , and i love my dentist honestly she is a doll , she went to school with my cousing so i feel comfortable with her but she has went away on vacation leaving me for a week with nothing to do but pray for it to stop hurting and go threw 2 tubes of orgel a day. So it was great when by 10 45 last night i had fallen asleep. And then what happens, The x calls, i fumbled for the phone and said hello, i was some what ticked when i heard the voice on the other end and he started with i am sorry did i wake you , well of course when in the 4 years have you knowen me do i stay awake past 10 30 wheni have to be up at 6 am. Another applogies and you say youll let me go , that you were just calling to say hi , hi is a code work and the time of day your calling you either A need money or B are worried about something, i have made it clear there will be no money given to you again , that you need to learn to do things on your own , and if your calling me for support its either something with work or your mother. Neither of which are my concerns any more. I tell my self this because being sucked in to Your life is like entering the black hole of depression , where no one smiles no one laughs all they do is cry. You dont have to tell me whats wrong i know by the tone if your voice, i look at the clock its almost 11 , i tell you Hey Your interview will go fine, just take a breath and get back to studing for your exit exams, what have i just done? underminded all the work i have been doing for my self , because when no one is there, for you i stepped up to the plate , so that you could be re asured, i just shake my head as i crawl back in bed, i can beat my self up over doing something for you or i can just say smile and keep moving on , not letting you affect how i feel. i choose the later, i just chalk it out to helping any of my other friends, no matter what happend between us i do which you happiness, but i need for you to understand that the further dosnt hold me and you together any more, that i am happy building alife of my own , and that there is some one i am intrested in , maybe there i snothing there with him , maybe he will only end up being a friend, as well, but i cant keep being the person you turn to its not fair to my self, or to any one i want to presue a relationship, i have learned to move towards another path , you need to do the same
Monday, March 05, 2007
Angel Standings
alright after the rant of a last post, i thought i would just add some lyrics today
ANGEL STANDING BY Jewel
All through the night I'll be standing over you
All through the night I'll be watching over you
And through bad dreams I'll be right there, baby
Holding your hand, telling you everything is all right
And when you cry I'll be right there
Telling you, you were never anything less than beautiful
So don't you worry
I'm your angel standing by
ANGEL STANDING BY Jewel
All through the night I'll be standing over you
All through the night I'll be watching over you
And through bad dreams I'll be right there, baby
Holding your hand, telling you everything is all right
And when you cry I'll be right there
Telling you, you were never anything less than beautiful
So don't you worry
I'm your angel standing by
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Shovel the Shi++++
So it snowed and Snowed and guess what it snowed some more here ! this morning i woke up , well i guess you cant call it woke up because i hadnt slept more then 15-30 minutes at a time. So i get up get dressed brush the teeth all that go down stairs to leave , and my wool jacket is on the floor, not only is it on the floor its coverd in frigging dust and dirt i am livid, why cant people leave my things where they are what was wrong with the kitchen chair i mean it was under another jaket which was YOURS so obviously your allowed to leave things there. Why is it that people cant leave other peoples things alone , are you OCD ? or you just like pissing me the fuck off ?
Friday, March 02, 2007
Friday Night Lights
If the storm stays at bar , i am going to get out tonight maybe for dinner and a movie, just some relax time with friends. As March is now here Spring is on its way
I can hardly wait for the warmth because then it means i can go mudding with my cousin, !!! I am not much of a lady during spring, mudding in the jeep go 4 wheeling what ever i can do to spend more time outside then inside
I can hardly wait for the warmth because then it means i can go mudding with my cousin, !!! I am not much of a lady during spring, mudding in the jeep go 4 wheeling what ever i can do to spend more time outside then inside
Thursday, March 01, 2007
My Mother my Mother
i was sitting at work this morning , thinking of that song that says my mother my mother she warned me she warned me ther'd be days like this , i think its a cranberries song off the zombie cd. just had that song running though my head wishing it was the other way around wising that a women who just had her life saved with heart surgery would stop smokeing or at least try slowing down she is actuly smokeing more right now! its breaking my heart. lost my dad guess not faceing the thoughts of loosing her too, didnt sleep last night either because of this either
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Add on
I guess i didnt relize that the last post didnt finish quite right , it was just and observation that i feel i have growen, i once felt that my life ended when i finaly gave up on him , that i wouldnt learn how to live again , in some ways i think i am more alone now then i ever ones , because i am doing more things, because i am making a point of finding out what makes me happy
Have i made progress?
This morning i took some time to reflect. This past weekend i went to the movies with Andrew, a very sweet guy makes me smile , and blush alot. Am i making progress ? because i can go out and enjoy my self with out letting something ruin the time i have?
I went to a party afterwords and i spent a couple mintes in front of the fire just thinking, of the things i am not able to do that i never thought i would be able to do, I look back and read some of the first entrys where i begged for things to be alright where i put my self down for some one elses issues.
I went to a party afterwords and i spent a couple mintes in front of the fire just thinking, of the things i am not able to do that i never thought i would be able to do, I look back and read some of the first entrys where i begged for things to be alright where i put my self down for some one elses issues.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
love this song !
| Dark Horse Amanda Marshall |  |
Indian summer Abiline You were new in town I was nineteen And sparks flew They called us crazy Behind our backs "Romantic Fools" We just let them laugh Because we knew It may be a long shot We may be lonely down the line But love knows no reason And I won't let them make up my mind [Chorus] My money's riding on this dark horse, baby My heart is sayin' it's the lucky one And it's true color's gonna shine through someday If we let this Let this dark horse run Stars are brighter In a desert sky No need to wonder Or justify Where this will lead I wear your locket Our picture's inside Inscription says, "The joy's in the ride" And I believe Something so sacred Is something worth this kind of fight Cause love knows no patience You can't please everyone all the time Chorus So rare So sweet Together baby We can be free | |
Monday, February 26, 2007
blah@ movie
So this weekend i didnt do much friday i had to work, Got up Satruday got the car went and got my hair cut ( i love it) relaxed for a bit then went to meet Andrew for the movies, it was nice to get together , but i didnt care for the movie , i was kinda like this is it for the first hour , the last 15 minutes were the good part, though thats nothing against Jim Carey i think he did a great job in this role, stepping out side his norm funny man routine. i guess over all i just wanst impressed with the movie , i booted it over to the party after that i had a wonder wonderful time, drove home at 330 in the morning but its all good.
Satruday i also got some new pics of my nephew i hate to tell my brother this but the baby has my cheeks! mom said it was like looking at me , 10 pictures and each one the baby looks more like me LOL.
Satruday i also got some new pics of my nephew i hate to tell my brother this but the baby has my cheeks! mom said it was like looking at me , 10 pictures and each one the baby looks more like me LOL.
Friday, February 23, 2007
TGIF
Well Friday has made it here!! I am super excited cause in the morning i am off to get my hair cut then off to freddy, going to catch a movie with Andrew and then go to a party as well. Need to make up for the fact i went to the dentist today , why is it when you leave a drs you feel worse then when you went in?
I dont have a cavity never had one wouldnt know what it feels like to have one or a filling, and for the most part i have always flossed on top of brushing. Today after being at the Dentist i feel like crap and the worts part " Your teeth look great as always and the gums look better then last time" so i am doing things right but it hurts more ? i mean i might enjoy pain *grins* but not having my teeth ripped at. We then had our always conversation about my family , My Dentist went to school with my Cousin, so she always ask how he is doing ect , He is a dentist as well.
So now i feel the need to do something nice for my self that shouldnt hurt so hence the hair cut! plus i need one , i dont know why i try and grow my hair out , every one who knows me knows i will never leave it long why because it wont do anything long, it goes all curly in the back and it is glued to my face in the front , so i keep it short , Issue it seems that last time i cut it to short and my thin hair made me look like i had a bald spot ! Dont want to do that again LOL
I dont have a cavity never had one wouldnt know what it feels like to have one or a filling, and for the most part i have always flossed on top of brushing. Today after being at the Dentist i feel like crap and the worts part " Your teeth look great as always and the gums look better then last time" so i am doing things right but it hurts more ? i mean i might enjoy pain *grins* but not having my teeth ripped at. We then had our always conversation about my family , My Dentist went to school with my Cousin, so she always ask how he is doing ect , He is a dentist as well.
So now i feel the need to do something nice for my self that shouldnt hurt so hence the hair cut! plus i need one , i dont know why i try and grow my hair out , every one who knows me knows i will never leave it long why because it wont do anything long, it goes all curly in the back and it is glued to my face in the front , so i keep it short , Issue it seems that last time i cut it to short and my thin hair made me look like i had a bald spot ! Dont want to do that again LOL
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Contacts
So i recently decided i would try contacts after wearing glasses since 4th grade i am loving this!
So Mom is home , back to smokeing WHICH PISSES ME OFF.
When i was 18 i lost my dad, after a 4 year battle for his life. i was his soul caregiver at this time. neither of my brothers lived with us. I went throgh trial after trial and He would take out all his anger on me , but i knew that he loved me, after he died i was emotinaly a mess it took me 2 years to move on with my life. My father killed him self drink by drink.
No my mom wants to do it smoke by smoke. She didnt like the fact that i told her she sounded just like him i guess the truth hurts
So Mom is home , back to smokeing WHICH PISSES ME OFF.
When i was 18 i lost my dad, after a 4 year battle for his life. i was his soul caregiver at this time. neither of my brothers lived with us. I went throgh trial after trial and He would take out all his anger on me , but i knew that he loved me, after he died i was emotinaly a mess it took me 2 years to move on with my life. My father killed him self drink by drink.
No my mom wants to do it smoke by smoke. She didnt like the fact that i told her she sounded just like him i guess the truth hurts
Saturday, February 17, 2007
The Heart Of The Family
So I spent all day yesterday and today with my mom at the heart unit in ST John. She had a 95 percent Block in her middle artery and 4 smaller build ups in smaller places. My mom just turned 47 at the begining of the month. Her mom died at the age of 53 from a heart attack i hope that this is a warning sign for my mom and she takes the advice of the doctors. This evening i am staying at mistys my Step dad took mom home, Ill be leaving early in the morning, maybe misty and i will get right out of it and relax. That it for me for tonight.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Let it Snow !
The snow keeps coming here, it snowed then it had some frezzing rain last night then this morning it was just raning (-7) and now it has turned to snow again.
It took me 35 minutes to make the 5 minute drive to work this morning but i got here safe and sound and with out incodent thank goodness.
Last night i spent some time with mom we are just waiting for room for her to be moved to St John for further testing. Although she dosnt want to admit it, it was her heart and i am hopeing that this will motivate her to change her life style. Thank You to all my friends and family for the support and prayers.
With her being in the Hospital untill they can take her to St John i will be postponing my trips to mistys for the weekend, unless she manages to get sent today or tommrow.
I didnt spend alot of time yesterday thinking, i dont even know if i posted about it , but i got a nice little E card from a sweet friend yesterday made my day!
Back to work for me now
It took me 35 minutes to make the 5 minute drive to work this morning but i got here safe and sound and with out incodent thank goodness.
Last night i spent some time with mom we are just waiting for room for her to be moved to St John for further testing. Although she dosnt want to admit it, it was her heart and i am hopeing that this will motivate her to change her life style. Thank You to all my friends and family for the support and prayers.
With her being in the Hospital untill they can take her to St John i will be postponing my trips to mistys for the weekend, unless she manages to get sent today or tommrow.
I didnt spend alot of time yesterday thinking, i dont even know if i posted about it , but i got a nice little E card from a sweet friend yesterday made my day!
Back to work for me now
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy love day one an all
keep this shot and sweet i hope that every one has a wonderfulday, and just because your single dosnt mean there isnt a special Vday wish for you either, i got a very sweet one that made my day! .
On a side note my mom is in the hopsital which is why i didnt have anything yesterday
On a side note my mom is in the hopsital which is why i didnt have anything yesterday
Monday, February 12, 2007
My Weekend
So it was a pretty quiet weekend. Friday night i met my mom at her second job, she is a bartender and i started out with a white russina one would have done the trick but the 5 in 1 hour i was ready to go home and go to bed, which i did by 10 pm i was in bed sleeping like a baby , no hang over the next day , Matty and i met for lunch did a little shopping and then later on that night we went to a movie. We went to Dreamgirls, i loved it as did he! I still hate Beyonce , but Jennifer Hudson was amazing plain an simple thats all that can be said. Sunday after work i curled up with a couple of movies, my mom actuly watched one with me its an 80's movie SheDevil, we use to watch it together when i was younger. So as you can see nothing intresting going on this weekend, I just sent my valentine lets see what he says
Friday, February 09, 2007
Over It
Katherine Mcphee
Over ItI'm over your lies
And I'm over your games.
I'm over you asking me
When you know I'm not okay.
You call me and I...
And I pick up the phone.
And though you've been telling me, I know you're not alone.
Oh and that's why
Your eyes... I'm over it.
You're smile... I'm over it.
Realized... I'm over it, I'm over it, I'm over...
Wanting you to be wanting me.
No, that ain't no way to be.
How I feel.
Read my lips.
Because I'm so over...
(I'm sorry)
Moving on
It is my time.
You never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it...
I'm over your hands
And I'm over your mouth
Trying to drag me down
And fill me with self doubt
Ohhhhh, and that's why
Your world, I'm over it
So sure, I'm over it
I'm not your girl, I'm over it
I'm over it, I'm over
Wanting you to be wanting me.
No, that ain't no way to be.
How I feel.
Read my lips.
Because I'm so over.
Moving on
It is my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first a little bit
Now I'm so over
So over it.
So Over It
I'm So Over It
Oh--Oh-Oh--Oh
Don't call
Don't come by
Aint no use don't ask me why
You'll never change
There'll be no more cryin' in the rain
Oh--Oh-Oh-Oh
Oh-Oh
I'm Over It
Wanting you to be wanting me
No that aint no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over (I'm so)
Moving on and it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over it
So Over It
I'm So Over it
I'm Over It
Over ItI'm over your lies
And I'm over your games.
I'm over you asking me
When you know I'm not okay.
You call me and I...
And I pick up the phone.
And though you've been telling me, I know you're not alone.
Oh and that's why
Your eyes... I'm over it.
You're smile... I'm over it.
Realized... I'm over it, I'm over it, I'm over...
Wanting you to be wanting me.
No, that ain't no way to be.
How I feel.
Read my lips.
Because I'm so over...
(I'm sorry)
Moving on
It is my time.
You never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it...
I'm over your hands
And I'm over your mouth
Trying to drag me down
And fill me with self doubt
Ohhhhh, and that's why
Your world, I'm over it
So sure, I'm over it
I'm not your girl, I'm over it
I'm over it, I'm over
Wanting you to be wanting me.
No, that ain't no way to be.
How I feel.
Read my lips.
Because I'm so over.
Moving on
It is my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first a little bit
Now I'm so over
So over it.
So Over It
I'm So Over It
Oh--Oh-Oh--Oh
Don't call
Don't come by
Aint no use don't ask me why
You'll never change
There'll be no more cryin' in the rain
Oh--Oh-Oh-Oh
Oh-Oh
I'm Over It
Wanting you to be wanting me
No that aint no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over (I'm so)
Moving on and it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over it
So Over It
I'm So Over it
I'm Over It
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Leaps and Bounds....
Leaps and Bounds not really just a steady walk up hill.
As I lay in bed last night not being able to sleep, My thoughts of course were running around, but i just stopped to smile! Why you might ask ? I stopped to smile because I am doing this on my own. I have organized my life, i have made plans for things i want and when some one contacts me wants to maybe see if something is there, i haven't said no , but i haven't had a problem just letting them know when you aren't for me, I am not settling i am not trying to make some one else happy first. Being selfish ? No i don't think so anymore, i just not going to put my self second in everything , i ll compromise on somethings others i am not going to. My friends who ready this know how much of a big deal this is.
C4A has always put others first
always aiming to please and gain some ones approval. Is it sad that it has taken me this long ? I mean i have a classic history of Alcoholic father, Abusive brother, Boyfriends.
But as i lay there last night , i though about the fact that i have peace in my life 90 percent of the time( if some one would forget my number it would be better) but i am on the right path, A job i love friends that i care about ,
As I lay in bed last night not being able to sleep, My thoughts of course were running around, but i just stopped to smile! Why you might ask ? I stopped to smile because I am doing this on my own. I have organized my life, i have made plans for things i want and when some one contacts me wants to maybe see if something is there, i haven't said no , but i haven't had a problem just letting them know when you aren't for me, I am not settling i am not trying to make some one else happy first. Being selfish ? No i don't think so anymore, i just not going to put my self second in everything , i ll compromise on somethings others i am not going to. My friends who ready this know how much of a big deal this is.
C4A has always put others first
always aiming to please and gain some ones approval. Is it sad that it has taken me this long ? I mean i have a classic history of Alcoholic father, Abusive brother, Boyfriends.
But as i lay there last night , i though about the fact that i have peace in my life 90 percent of the time( if some one would forget my number it would be better) but i am on the right path, A job i love friends that i care about ,
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Happy Birthday MOM
Wonderful Mother |
God made a wonderful mother, |
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Just Another Manic Monday ?
Well I found yesterday so long and so stressfull! Last night I just wanted to veg, but I had to go fix a friends system , Set up a router for him and i am glad i did! i dont spend enough time with matty, and what was best, my cousin wendy was there too!!
Wendy and I met in first grade. We didnt know we were related till parent teacher night when our moms saw each other there , they both explained it to us , and we have been friends every since. No matter where in my life i have been wendy has always been just a phone call away! Shes seen me at my worst and at my best!
When your family you don't have to like the person but it certainly is great when you love them!
So i spent and hour or so there catching up after I finishes setting up the Bel kin Router ( a good little choice for those of you who want to set up a wireless network for your home) . I do a lot of computer work on the side when I can just to help people out never a charge but where I don't have a car you must provide the transportation I tell every one. Some times I get mad at how much some places charge to fix computers but they never explain to anyone how to fix the small issues them self's so that the clients can learn to be a bit selt suficiant . I know here is a network tech saying this, But every time a computer freezes up you should turn it off , not just call some one and ask why you cant move the mouse. Well those who charge 60 dollars for a half hour wouldn't agree with me cause they would be out the money , but education is better then ignorance in this instant as well !
Wendy and I met in first grade. We didnt know we were related till parent teacher night when our moms saw each other there , they both explained it to us , and we have been friends every since. No matter where in my life i have been wendy has always been just a phone call away! Shes seen me at my worst and at my best!
When your family you don't have to like the person but it certainly is great when you love them!
So i spent and hour or so there catching up after I finishes setting up the Bel kin Router ( a good little choice for those of you who want to set up a wireless network for your home) . I do a lot of computer work on the side when I can just to help people out never a charge but where I don't have a car you must provide the transportation I tell every one. Some times I get mad at how much some places charge to fix computers but they never explain to anyone how to fix the small issues them self's so that the clients can learn to be a bit selt suficiant . I know here is a network tech saying this, But every time a computer freezes up you should turn it off , not just call some one and ask why you cant move the mouse. Well those who charge 60 dollars for a half hour wouldn't agree with me cause they would be out the money , but education is better then ignorance in this instant as well !
Monday, February 05, 2007
Football?
Football took over tv land last night. I had forgotten what it was that awful weekend again till I was looking at the tv and couldnt find any one my sunday evening show! Had I thought a head of time I would have saved the moveis I got for sunday, Instead I played video games. My point is i wish there was just one Channel that didnt play the flipping superbowl so we could have something to watch>
My weekend , wel I didnt make the trip to St John it snowed here !! which sucked so I again played video games. Yes I spent the weekend playing Guild Wars and watching moves ! I am a looser LOL
My weekend , wel I didnt make the trip to St John it snowed here !! which sucked so I again played video games. Yes I spent the weekend playing Guild Wars and watching moves ! I am a looser LOL
Friday, February 02, 2007
AUGUSTANA - BOSTON
"Boston"
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
You don't know me, you don't even care,
She said
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
You don't know me, you don't even care,
She said
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...
She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston... where no one knows my name...
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
You don't know me, you don't even care,
She said
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
You don't know me, you don't even care,
She said
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...
She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston... where no one knows my name...
Ode to the storm
If i find some prayer to the snow god do you think i can keep the snow at pay at least till tomorrow afternoon! As I mentioned earlier in the week I want to go for a small road trip to visit my best friend, only issue , if it snows today her mom wont go tomorrow! So I am keeping my fingers crossed that this nice -3 weather goes away and it becomes too cold to snow again!
Last night was TV Night. Thrusdays are the night where all 4 shows I love are on Start out with Ugly Betty the seasons nebiew! America F is just fabuolas what else can be said. Then we have Greys always good for a up and down whats gonna happe. Then there is ER which i have been watching for so long that I dont remember when I started following it. ER has to be my all time can not miss show. Lastly we have OC , which only has a few episodes left, I cant say that I am surpised they have cancled the show I knew that would happen after MB left. So last nights I didnt do a think other then make supper and watch tv. God I was lazy ! But we all can use that once an a while , time where we dont need to do this dont need to do that , where we can watch mindless tv and not think about work , cleaning , shopping or anything else that we might have done if we felt like it.
Last night was TV Night. Thrusdays are the night where all 4 shows I love are on Start out with Ugly Betty the seasons nebiew! America F is just fabuolas what else can be said. Then we have Greys always good for a up and down whats gonna happe. Then there is ER which i have been watching for so long that I dont remember when I started following it. ER has to be my all time can not miss show. Lastly we have OC , which only has a few episodes left, I cant say that I am surpised they have cancled the show I knew that would happen after MB left. So last nights I didnt do a think other then make supper and watch tv. God I was lazy ! But we all can use that once an a while , time where we dont need to do this dont need to do that , where we can watch mindless tv and not think about work , cleaning , shopping or anything else that we might have done if we felt like it.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Christmas In Febuary
I know that it wouldnt make most peoples days but after 2 years of answering the phone an crooking my neck and having my shoulder hurt , and trying to stretch the phone cord across the office, Today I got a cordless attachment for my phone for work , and I LOVE it, when you spend as many hours a day on the phone as i do it really will help, But of course the first day i get it there hasnt been a call since! Just my luck. Of Course it is a plantronics, Great Sound! As well it can be over the ear or over the head. Which is nice , if i am just at my desk over the ear is fine but if i am running around over the head will make sure it dosn't fall off. Any one who is a network tech , or as i did before, works in a call center would agree that holding the phone up all day would drive any one crazy!! Now just to get a new chair !!!!
Say It Right
I just listen to Nelly Furtado's "Say It Right".
Though it is a short song vers wise its got a nice beat. I found my self hitting play again.
I have found my self listening to the album again again. Music has always been a big thing in my fathers family not so much in my moms. So i am not musicaly challanged!
Though it is a short song vers wise its got a nice beat. I found my self hitting play again.
I have found my self listening to the album again again. Music has always been a big thing in my fathers family not so much in my moms. So i am not musicaly challanged!
In the day
In the night
Say it all
Say it right
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
This is the begining that i like The words just seem to roll i guess
Working For The Weekend
Well its Thursday, and I can smell the weekend. Though my plans are not written in stone I plan to take a small "Road Trip". Misty and i have a sorted relationship always have, My mother would pretty much do anything for misty and her mother the same for me. In our life's we have had a total of two fights , both of which left us utterly alone. That being said we don't always agree but we have seen each other from highs to lows and back again. Well mostly me just getting her out of trouble. ( she will agree)
So Mom number two will be decided tomorrow if we will venture the roads, apparently there may be a storm on Friday and she wont want to drive Saturday. I will be disappointed as our time together is never frequent enough.
Misty has recently decided the best way for me to move on with my life is to move 2 hours away where she lives. Though moving may be an idea I dont think running away from my issues will solve anything, But in true best friend fashion she keeps with the idea. Would moving where no one really knows me help ? Leaving behind some support system for a single support person? On second hand His Family wouldnt be around either so i wouldnt have to face them or him. I think that moving in lets him know he still can controll me. But then again thats just my opion! wait mines the one that counts!
So Mom number two will be decided tomorrow if we will venture the roads, apparently there may be a storm on Friday and she wont want to drive Saturday. I will be disappointed as our time together is never frequent enough.
Misty has recently decided the best way for me to move on with my life is to move 2 hours away where she lives. Though moving may be an idea I dont think running away from my issues will solve anything, But in true best friend fashion she keeps with the idea. Would moving where no one really knows me help ? Leaving behind some support system for a single support person? On second hand His Family wouldnt be around either so i wouldnt have to face them or him. I think that moving in lets him know he still can controll me. But then again thats just my opion! wait mines the one that counts!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Relaxation
What is the perfect thing to do when your day has been a mess from start to finish ?
One of thoes days where you have to remind your self that you love
Your job that the world is not ending and that the next day wont be the same?
So my choices tonight were to go watch a movie with a friend, He may not feel up to it
So i am planning some alts to take away the stress
Options
Mutilate Horrids in the game that took me 5 hours to install last night &
4 hours to fix this morning YEAH for OBLIVION
Kill Things in Guild Wars
Kill Things in WoW (bought a trial version)
Watch the Normal AMC ( see if Ryan and Annie are gonna raise there Daughter together)
Or As Your writing this post your ass of and ex calls your (while your still at work) so you end up making the perfect ending to the day and crying for the first time since he called the last time.
So i have made the choice that all my contacts need to change, though i may always love you, i am not in love with you, i dont like the person you are when you treat me like this. You know You wont change, and its not my place to ask you too, So i will change how i let you in to my life , which will be not at all. Though i can not change my number at work maybe this is why every time you have contacted me since i left has been at work.
Now back from the rant that took over my post.
Its one of thoes night i just want to veg, just want to veg and do anything mindless
One of thoes days where you have to remind your self that you love
Your job that the world is not ending and that the next day wont be the same?
So my choices tonight were to go watch a movie with a friend, He may not feel up to it
So i am planning some alts to take away the stress
Options
Mutilate Horrids in the game that took me 5 hours to install last night &
4 hours to fix this morning YEAH for OBLIVION
Kill Things in Guild Wars
Kill Things in WoW (bought a trial version)
Watch the Normal AMC ( see if Ryan and Annie are gonna raise there Daughter together)
Or As Your writing this post your ass of and ex calls your (while your still at work) so you end up making the perfect ending to the day and crying for the first time since he called the last time.
So i have made the choice that all my contacts need to change, though i may always love you, i am not in love with you, i dont like the person you are when you treat me like this. You know You wont change, and its not my place to ask you too, So i will change how i let you in to my life , which will be not at all. Though i can not change my number at work maybe this is why every time you have contacted me since i left has been at work.
Now back from the rant that took over my post.
Its one of thoes night i just want to veg, just want to veg and do anything mindless
The Capebretoner
The Capebretoner
For those of you who are Cape Bretoners,
and for those who wish they were,these are things
we take for granted, for those of
you who aren't, a little education is
helpful if you are privileged to ever visit there.
I'm not a coal miner or a fisherman.
I don't know John MacDonald, but I'm sure if you
knew his father's name,I might.
The old man's on pogey, not "unemployment insurance".
I speak Cape Bretonese, not English or French.
Unless I'm from Cheticamp.
I say "yous" instead of "you"
When referring to more than one person.
Our closest thing to a luxury cruise is the Englishtown ferry.
I can proudly sing every word to "The Island".
It's arsehole, not asshole.
I'm not a baraco, unless I'm from Louisdale.
Ashley MacIssac was fine until he went to Toronto.
Bet up" is the past tense of "beat".
Once you're over the hill you have to go to the bingo.
Anyone "west of the causeway" is a mainlander.
A "puck" means a really hard punch or hit,
not just something you use to play hockey.
Nothing good ever comes from the phrase "that one".
I can ask a complete stranger if "a fella could saves me a puff".
My cousin is my "cousint".
Buddy dere don't know his arse from his elbow.
You "bift" something, not throw it.
Any conversation can start with "how's she goin b'y".
Moonshine, if drunk right, will give you the shits.
It's a "point" of rum, not a "pint".
The "Mull River Shuffle" isn't a card game.
A good meal is a "scoff".
I don't laugh really hard at something, I "roar" at it.
I don't pronounce the "H" at the end of"Keith's".
Don't pronounce "H" at all do I.
Cape Breton is an island off Nova Scotia.
The first nation of tarbish and fiddle music,
And the best part of North America.
The Island - Aselin Debison
"The Island"
Over an ocean and over a sea
Beyond these great waters, oh what do I see?
I see the great mountains
Climb from the coastline
The hills of Cape Breton, this new home of mine
Oh they come from the countries all over the world
To hack at the forest, to plow the land down
Fishermen, farmers and sailors all come
To clear for the future this pioneer ground
[CHORUS]
We are an island, a rock in a stream
We are a people as proud as there's been
In soft summer breeze or in wild winter winds
The home of our hearts, Cape Breton
Over the rooftops and over the trees
Within these new townships, oh what do I see?
I see the black pitheads, the coal-wheels are turning
The smokestacks are belching and the blast furnace burning
Oh the sweat on the back is no joy to behold
In the heat of the steel plant or mining the coal
And the foreign-owned companies
Force us to fight
For our survival and for our rights
[CHORUS]
Over the highways and over the roads
Over the causeway, stories are told
They tell of the coming and the going away
The cities of America draw me away
Ah the companies come, the companies go
And the ways of the world we may never know
We'll follow the footsteps of those on their way
And we'll ask for the right to leave or to stay
[CHORUS]
Over an ocean and over a sea
Beyond these great waters, oh what do I see?
I see the great mountains
Climb from the coastline
The hills of Cape Breton, this new home of mine
Oh they come from the countries all over the world
To hack at the forest, to plow the land down
Fishermen, farmers and sailors all come
To clear for the future this pioneer ground
[CHORUS]
We are an island, a rock in a stream
We are a people as proud as there's been
In soft summer breeze or in wild winter winds
The home of our hearts, Cape Breton
Over the rooftops and over the trees
Within these new townships, oh what do I see?
I see the black pitheads, the coal-wheels are turning
The smokestacks are belching and the blast furnace burning
Oh the sweat on the back is no joy to behold
In the heat of the steel plant or mining the coal
And the foreign-owned companies
Force us to fight
For our survival and for our rights
[CHORUS]
Over the highways and over the roads
Over the causeway, stories are told
They tell of the coming and the going away
The cities of America draw me away
Ah the companies come, the companies go
And the ways of the world we may never know
We'll follow the footsteps of those on their way
And we'll ask for the right to leave or to stay
[CHORUS]
sentimental
So i like some people find sentimental feelings in most lyrics or songs so I thought that listing a song of the week might help seeing that when I started this blog I would just write random thoughts, just enough to keep me going from speaking to the X, Enough to keep me focused enough at work to stay at work and not break down and cry while sitting at my desk fixing some ones net. Now my self am i over it all no, but i am getting some place cause it doesn't hurt like it did.
So maybe this just turns in a compliment of songs that mean things to me or inspire me in some way or just make me think.
So maybe this just turns in a compliment of songs that mean things to me or inspire me in some way or just make me think.
New Blogger
Well i made the switch over to the new Google accounts blogger system will see how this all works now i guess...
On update note i know that this isn't interesting writing , its just for me to write things out when i am doubting the choice of leaving the person who hurt me , its about learning to love my self again and understanding that i do count, my opions count my needs wants dreams everything , matter , they shouldn't be pushed aside , that being said compromise is needed in life but, when just one person is doing that its not fair nor is it healthy.
Caper4Always
On update note i know that this isn't interesting writing , its just for me to write things out when i am doubting the choice of leaving the person who hurt me , its about learning to love my self again and understanding that i do count, my opions count my needs wants dreams everything , matter , they shouldn't be pushed aside , that being said compromise is needed in life but, when just one person is doing that its not fair nor is it healthy.
Caper4Always
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Good morning thank you for calling please leave .....
Answering the phone every day , i have started not to want to answer my phone at home. This must be comman for other people who answer the phone day in day out at least 100 times a day. Maybe not wanting to talk on the phone is helping me move on , I have not Cried once in two weeks this is a record as of late. There are a couple reasons why i think
A) I have recently been trying to help a friend whos going threw the same type of reatltionship all be it not as long as mine was.
B) I am just learning to move on! Not letting the Hurtful things you say when you contact me get to me!
As a human being we all deserve to have pride in our selfs what we can do! no one has the right to tell you that you are worthless!
A) I have recently been trying to help a friend whos going threw the same type of reatltionship all be it not as long as mine was.
B) I am just learning to move on! Not letting the Hurtful things you say when you contact me get to me!
As a human being we all deserve to have pride in our selfs what we can do! no one has the right to tell you that you are worthless!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Vacation Came Vacation Went
Back to the grind for over a week.
Vacation was good i think it was good for me. He was around when i got back. He acts as if we are still together when he wants or needs something but as soon as something comes up he reminds me just how little i mean. So i took some steps to put more distance between us i didnt call for the hole time i was gone , thats a big deal for being me , to go from calling every day to not calling in over a month. and he is gone back now and i havent called either.
On other notes i have a wonderful vation i spent time with family and friends and just had time to do nothing at some points too, i needed that time to my self.
My motherbord went on sunday so i have orderd a new computer ill spend the next 3 months working OT to pay for it but its all good. I think its time i start trying to date i mean really give it a try and keep staying away from Him . i may always care about him but its a toxic relationship. and i cant settle for less then what i deserve rigth ?
who knows what the time will bring
as
Vacation was good i think it was good for me. He was around when i got back. He acts as if we are still together when he wants or needs something but as soon as something comes up he reminds me just how little i mean. So i took some steps to put more distance between us i didnt call for the hole time i was gone , thats a big deal for being me , to go from calling every day to not calling in over a month. and he is gone back now and i havent called either.
On other notes i have a wonderful vation i spent time with family and friends and just had time to do nothing at some points too, i needed that time to my self.
My motherbord went on sunday so i have orderd a new computer ill spend the next 3 months working OT to pay for it but its all good. I think its time i start trying to date i mean really give it a try and keep staying away from Him . i may always care about him but its a toxic relationship. and i cant settle for less then what i deserve rigth ?
who knows what the time will bring
as
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