The Capebretoner

The Capebretoner

For those of you who are Cape Bretoners,
and for those who wish they were,these are things
we take for granted, for those of
you who aren't, a little education is
helpful if you are privileged to ever visit there.

I'm not a coal miner or a fisherman.
I don't know John MacDonald, but I'm sure if you
knew his father's name,I might.
The old man's on pogey, not "unemployment insurance".
I speak Cape Bretonese, not English or French.
Unless I'm from Cheticamp.
I say "yous" instead of "you"
When referring to more than one person.
Our closest thing to a luxury cruise is the Englishtown ferry.
I can proudly sing every word to "The Island".

It's arsehole, not asshole.
I'm not a baraco, unless I'm from Louisdale.
Ashley MacIssac was fine until he went to Toronto.
Bet up" is the past tense of "beat".
Once you're over the hill you have to go to the bingo.
Anyone "west of the causeway" is a mainlander.
A "puck" means a really hard punch or hit,
not just something you use to play hockey.
Nothing good ever comes from the phrase "that one".
I can ask a complete stranger if "a fella could saves me a puff".

My cousin is my "cousint".
Buddy dere don't know his arse from his elbow.
You "bift" something, not throw it.
Any conversation can start with "how's she goin b'y".
Moonshine, if drunk right, will give you the shits.
It's a "point" of rum, not a "pint".
The "Mull River Shuffle" isn't a card game.
A good meal is a "scoff".
I don't laugh really hard at something, I "roar" at it.
I don't pronounce the "H" at the end of"Keith's".
Don't pronounce "H" at all do I.

Cape Breton is an island off Nova Scotia.
The first nation of tarbish and fiddle music,
And the best part of North America.