dead tired

need sleep must have sleep , why cant i sleep LOL

I must not I must not , i must stay away

as a step in my face book recovery, i will be heading out of town this weekend to visit misty in St John, and what a weekend it will be! its going to be WARM!!! Thank Goodness i am sick of sleeping in a bed with 15 blankets on it its like i am crawling in to a small hole , once i am in there i cant move just shimmy in and stay there if i want to tbe warm. Ill be back on Satruday , going to a party for work, and working on sunday. speaking of work i need to get back to it

Jr High Romance , dont blink it might be missed

i yawn and pull my self out of bed, shower hair makeup contacts in. It is Wednesday and i would rather do anything then go to work , A i would make the first choice to stay in bed where i am warm and wont have to wonder about getting frostbit if i look out side , or two not have to leave the house at all and stay curled on the coach watching Dawsons creek , either work for me , but i get to work, seems i am gonna do a lot of over time next week which i dont mind at all , works for me , but i still dont want to be here today, i check my email i talk to the people who left me messages on face book over night , HOLY MOLY i think i have become addictied to seeing if i can find other people i know if 4 days i have 197 people mostly from the NB area more then cape breton ( cape breton is still in to High 5) . I get a message its from Robin, i havnt spoke ro Robin in a good 10 years we played Volleyball together in 5& 6th grade but remained friends till 8th grade when i broke up with the guy i was dateing that lived in the same town as her , Melissa who is her best friend and i were also ver close all three of us did the normal kid clatter, my cousin Wen actuly dated mellissas brother who was best friends with my boyfried at the time. When i thought about that i just shook my head even re reading it now it gets confusing , needless to say when i wasnt traveling down there all the time we lost touch , i was happy to know she isnt far away and doing great as is melissa. So although i dreaded spending the day at work i got to spend it catching up with a dear friend

Hit 100

today i hit 100 visits, so its obvious i am not the only one coming here any more, please feel free to leave your name in the commecnts or sign the guest mapp thanks
c4a

late night phone calls

As i lay me down to sleep i pray the .... i just pray to get to sleep!,
for the last 4 nights i have had problems sleeping just sit there and toss and turn if i can even slow down long enough to go to bed. issue causing this ? stress and a wondeful first cavity! who gets a first cavity at the age of 25 ? ME , and i love my dentist honestly she is a doll , she went to school with my cousing so i feel comfortable with her but she has went away on vacation leaving me for a week with nothing to do but pray for it to stop hurting and go threw 2 tubes of orgel a day. So it was great when by 10 45 last night i had fallen asleep. And then what happens, The x calls, i fumbled for the phone and said hello, i was some what ticked when i heard the voice on the other end and he started with i am sorry did i wake you , well of course when in the 4 years have you knowen me do i stay awake past 10 30 wheni have to be up at 6 am. Another applogies and you say youll let me go , that you were just calling to say hi , hi is a code work and the time of day your calling you either A need money or B are worried about something, i have made it clear there will be no money given to you again , that you need to learn to do things on your own , and if your calling me for support its either something with work or your mother. Neither of which are my concerns any more. I tell my self this because being sucked in to Your life is like entering the black hole of depression , where no one smiles no one laughs all they do is cry. You dont have to tell me whats wrong i know by the tone if your voice, i look at the clock its almost 11 , i tell you Hey Your interview will go fine, just take a breath and get back to studing for your exit exams, what have i just done? underminded all the work i have been doing for my self , because when no one is there, for you i stepped up to the plate , so that you could be re asured, i just shake my head as i crawl back in bed, i can beat my self up over doing something for you or i can just say smile and keep moving on , not letting you affect how i feel. i choose the later, i just chalk it out to helping any of my other friends, no matter what happend between us i do which you happiness, but i need for you to understand that the further dosnt hold me and you together any more, that i am happy building alife of my own , and that there is some one i am intrested in , maybe there i snothing there with him , maybe he will only end up being a friend, as well, but i cant keep being the person you turn to its not fair to my self, or to any one i want to presue a relationship, i have learned to move towards another path , you need to do the same

Angel Standings

alright after the rant of a last post, i thought i would just add some lyrics today

ANGEL STANDING BY Jewel
All through the night I'll be standing over you
All through the night I'll be watching over you
And through bad dreams I'll be right there, baby
Holding your hand, telling you everything is all right
And when you cry I'll be right there
Telling you, you were never anything less than beautiful
So don't you worry
I'm your angel standing by

Shovel the Shi++++

So it snowed and Snowed and guess what it snowed some more here ! this morning i woke up , well i guess you cant call it woke up because i hadnt slept more then 15-30 minutes at a time. So i get up get dressed brush the teeth all that go down stairs to leave , and my wool jacket is on the floor, not only is it on the floor its coverd in frigging dust and dirt i am livid, why cant people leave my things where they are what was wrong with the kitchen chair i mean it was under another jaket which was YOURS so obviously your allowed to leave things there. Why is it that people cant leave other peoples things alone , are you OCD ? or you just like pissing me the fuck off ?

Friday Night Lights

If the storm stays at bar , i am going to get out tonight maybe for dinner and a movie, just some relax time with friends. As March is now here Spring is on its way
I can hardly wait for the warmth because then it means i can go mudding with my cousin, !!! I am not much of a lady during spring, mudding in the jeep go 4 wheeling what ever i can do to spend more time outside then inside